ORDER ONLY: Private Message to Terry Boot and Colin Creevey

[alt_frank]

(Hey hey, Professor.

I was talking to Mr and Mrs L earlier, and they said the new tent would be ready for you lot by Sunday. Mrs L just has to fiddle with some of the charms on it first. Weatherproofing and concealment and the like. Thought I'd pass it along, so everyone can pack up their gear and get ready to move in to the new digs. I'd imagine the current one is pretty crowded, hey? Sarah said she couldn't even imagine how it slept four when she took over your bunk, so five's got to be pushing at the seams. I hope they're not making you kip on the floor or something.

Sherwood treating you well enough? I know it's no Hogwarts.)

Comments

[alt_terry]

It's not difficult for me to kip on the floor when I'm the Professor, but we'll be glad to have the new tent. Dudley really likes to spread his stuff around and--yeah. More space will be nice.

It's all right being back, although you're right, it's no Hogwarts. There's no place like Hogwarts.

Still, it's better being back here.

[alt_frank]

(Really? I know you were really excited to go back.

I get to see the outside of the castle every now and then when I go to the Forest.

Sometimes I wish I could go inside, just to see what it's like, but I guess it's different if you've lived there.)

[alt_terry]

I think it's because I've been there before that it didn't quite work out.

Don't get me wrong. Cedric was just as nice about things as he could be, a really considerate flatmate.

But I went back expecting things to be like they were before, but they're not. I had to change so much to escape from Carrow, that going back felt as if...as if I were trying to go back to fit back into a shoe I'd outgrown.

I wanted to be useful. But I think Ron felt he was getting more out of working with Professor Brutka--Dumbledore--than me. And Mr Snape had others to help him who are much better brewers than me. Like Hermione.

[alt_frank]

(Yeah, I can see how that'd be hard.

And she's quite something, isn't she? Sometimes I forget she's just a year older than I am. Div's in awe whenever Mr Snape sends along his reports. He figures he'll poke along at diaper rash cremes while she does all the heavy lifting, hey?)

[alt_terry]

She outclasses me, always.

To be honest, going back to Hogwarts I'd hoped for something different there, with Hermione, I mean. I reckon it's not too difficult for you to be able figure out how I feel about her, reading back entries and maybe talking to Mr and Mrs Longbottom. It's more than just fancying her. I've carried a torch for her for years.

But that's another thing that just doesn't fit anymore: the hope that she'll finally turn around and notice me standing there, and suddenly realise that she feels the same way.

I've become convinced it's never going to happen. I didn't get this far by lying to myself and I don't want to start now. She doesn't feel the same as me. And I don't think she ever will, so there's not much point in even talking about it with her.

I think, deep down, that's what really made me leave Hogwarts in the end.

[alt_frank]

(Sorry to hear that, mate.

I think you've got a point, though. About how it's better to come to terms with something even though it hurts, instead of letting it take charge.)

[alt_frank]

(And who knows, maybe stepping away from this will make it easier to take a chance with someone else you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

I know, probably not what you're wanting to think about right now, but just because she didn't feel that way doesn't mean you're a lost cause, hey?)

[alt_terry]

It will be different if I take up with a girl who never knew me when I was Carrow's slave. But in a way, it might be kind of nice, too.

(Not that I have anyone in mind, though, really. I've only just made this decision.)

[alt_terry]

Anyway, what about you, Colin? Do you have your eye on someone?

[alt_frank]

(Oh, I don't know.

Luna's really brilliant, and pretty, and we have these amazing conversations. She's like that with everybody, though.

Anyways, can't really afford to be too picky, yeah? I'll probably still look like a twelve year old when I'm thirty.)

[alt_terry]

I think you and Luna would be great together, actually. I know you're both interested in art.

And she's...well, there's no one quite like her. She's also very kind, but you never know what's going to come out of her mouth next. Life with her would certainly never be boring!

[alt_terry]

I think what finally made me 'come to terms' with it, as you put it, was that for the first time I thought about what Hermione would want me to do. If she knew (but I don't think she does. Anyway, I'm not going to tell her.) She's very kind. She wouldn't want a boy mooning hopelessly after her just because it makes her feel important or special. She'd want me to be happy, too.

And she's always so practical. I remember all the times we practised charms together, and she would say, 'If something's not working, don't let yourself get stuck. Try something else if you're going nowhere, or even rethink your goal.'

Realising that made the decision to leave sort of obvious then.

We have so much history with me as boot, too.